Healed

I do miss you I won’t lie but not as much as I use to, I do care and love you but not more then a friend. I was so stupid to think we could be friends after all that’s happened but I wont say never cause we can only plan but god knows better, so maybe one day we could. I feel a huge set of pain, feelings and fear being lifted off my chest, now I see the bigger picture and all that’s gone down.

“And I hope you find it,

What you're looking for

And I hope it's everything you dreamed your life could be

And so much more

And I hope you're happy, wherever you are

I wanted you to know that

And nothing's gonna change that

And I hope you find it”

Life is becoming brighter and getting myself out there doing things I wanted to, going places I wanted to. Making new friends and improving myself is my new goal and target, I will work hard to achieve my goals.

Any to all my newly wed friends congratulations is in order, may you have eternal happiness and be bless with may cute babies. To my bestie thanks for choosing to be the godmother to your baby girl and I hope she likes all the gifts I got her ;)

Regret

This is the feeling I am having, I just regret of how things turned out to be. Lately I have been missing D more then ever, there is this strong feeling of me wanting to hear, see and touch D. I have not had this feeling in awhile now but somehow I been feeling it hard and a lot lately.

Somehow I think I am regretting my decision of breaking up with her and causing her hurt. I know I should just forget it and move on but something within me which is making it hard to do it. I just want to have a nice long talk and giggles with D like we used to.

Sadden with all that’s happened I lost my best friend and comfort, I wish I could turn back time and make it all better. I will just remove one thing from my life and the whole situation will be fixed but there isn’t anything that can make it happen.

One thing I know for sure regret is deadly venom that takes over and controls you. I should have listen to myself and given time before making a decision.

A Life Lesson On Relationships

There’s always a lesson to be learned when you’re in a relationship, the lessons maybe good or bad either way it will only make your next relationship better. Each relationship will have its own flaws and uncountable amount of happiness shared, but the lessons you learn from you previous relationships will only help to make things better. Memories are one of the best things that you will ever take away from a relationship, just remember the good ones to play over and over again in your mind, as for the negative once should be thrown far-far away even thou you remember every single bad moment. What ever that we been thru love is always wonderful and a part of us always wants to do it over and over again so never regret for falling in love and wanting to do it all over again as its one of the best gifts in life.

What I have learned from all that’s happened lately is never take your partner, husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend and etc ever for granted. At a certain point of your relationship you will start to get comfortable and forget to take care of yourself and your partner, you let lose and forget to care. When this happens it will take a great toll on your relationship even without you realizing its happening. Being comfortable has its areas not everything is meant to be shared, some things are best kept low and meant to be the small surprises a relationship can offer. Taking someone for granted is like saying directly to the person you don’t matter no more to me and I don’t need to impress you anymore. The dating game is fun and every relationship should be practicing and maintaining it no matter how long you have been together. Having mutual friends and hanging out together in a big group once awhile is always good, because there are things about our partner that maybe our friends know and we don’t and can help us to understand better.

As for my relationship it ended because the both of us got too comfortable and forgotten to care and make things between us exciting. Not to mention the things we did not bother to discuss or work it out cause we both always assumed that we won’t leave and being busy with our work and business. Relationship takes a lot of work and communication without either of this it’s hard to build a solid foundation. Communication is a key to a long lasting relationship cause we must be able to share and talk about things that worries us openly with our partner. No doubt we have been thru a lot and have managed to make it thru it all the obstacles, but somehow we as human manage to break love we build. What I feel now is like losing a part of me that I want back badly but won’t be able to patch it into a perfect piece, so giving it up is the best option then suffering or hurting each other just because we like each others company. It’s a sad situation but it has to be done before we landed up back in the same situation and feel even worst.

Everyone around us is still hoping we reconcile and get back together, because they say we made a great couple and have all the things needed to make a relationship work. Everyone is giving their opinion about the relationship but no one has stop to think what they should really do for us is just to be there in case we needed to talk or a shoulder to lean on. Yes no doubt we were could get along perfectly, compromise on many level, meet each other expectation and had the same plan for future. There is a part of me that wishes I could just could go back and change the things that made things to reach this level so no of this would have happened, but there is a saying that all things happens for a reason. I believe this test came to see how we would handle it and how strong our love was unfortunately we both failed miserably and allowed it to reach to this.

I love you more then I could ever imagine, but now I can see I have to let you go because I been proven wrong thinking that we “US” deserve another chance and we could make it. It hurts like F**King hell but it’s so clear we both have moved on in our own way, coming to a point we both don’t trust each other is for sure not a good sign to be trying to fix “US” again. I know the mistakes we made is mutual so there is no one really to be blame for us breaking what we have it happened mutually without us realizing it. It’s so sad to see “US” come to this but it’s far too late to fix anything anymore.

I love you my dear and I hope we both will find eternal happiness. :(

Bidding Good Bye To The last 5Year’s++ Half Of My Life

10 Sept 2006- 30 November 2011

I am so sorry baby that it had to come to and end this way. You lost the love that loved you the most, and now you want me one more time but it’s too late. I loved you with all my heart I poured every inch or my energy and heart into the relationship we once had. You took me for granted, said hurtful things and kept pushing me away. Why did it take you so long to realize that I was the one for you, the one who could love you for all that you were. So now don’t come back for me, don’t come back at all and hurt me any deeper.

I wish you would have realized all this very much earlier and done something to fix it, now it’s too late to fix anything. So please stop trying because I truly believe you will be much happier with someone else. I don’t want to be the reason for your hurt and pain anymore, I loved you more then you will ever know. I need to stop being selfish as you once claimed it and let you move on and find someone who can treat you the way you want and need. Finally you’re getting the wish you always wanted, so be happy with it. It may be the hardest thing I will ever do but I got to do it. Only god will know and be my witness how much it ache’s me to say good bye to everything we build and have but it has to be done. It will always leave a huge scar in my life knowing that this could have work if only your saw what I saw and believed in.

I been neglected and hurt by your actions, which made it easy for me to accept someone else in my life. It may seem cruel to others that I am moving on in such a short time from the period of our break up, but I have found someone who can make laugh, listen, accept me for me and treat me right. I know you will find someone who can bring all the happiness in your life as well, I truly hope you be happy for me and find your very own happiness as well.

Lots of Love,

Your Munchkin

Happy 5 Years Anniversary

Its been a crazy 60 months of a journey filled with fights, faith, love, hope and growth. Our love has only grown stronger each day with faith and believe in one another, there are times when we have doubts but there is always something that reminds us its worth it we are worth it. I thank god each day for bringing you into my life and showing me a whole other world that i never knew, you filled my life and brought so much joy, wisdom and happiness.

Happy 5 Years Hubby Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love you so much and will always do.

Thanks for everything you have done for me and for taking care of me when I was ill. Thanks for always being there when I need you. Thanks for always putting a smile on my face when I was down or hurt. Thanks for bringing your craziness into my life. Thanks for always giving me good and solid advises when I needed them. Mostly thanks for putting up with all my crazy moments and accepting me just the way I am.

"Love is the immortal flow of energy that nourishes,

extends and preserves. Its eternal goal is life."

Smiley Blanton

 

 "But love, I've come to understand, is more than three words mumbled before bedtime.

Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day."

Nicholas Sparks in The Wedding

My Very 1st Operation

I woke up at 2 am and flt the acute pain at the lower abdomen and could sleep, sit or walk it was so pain. But some how i force myself to sleep, I was admitted to the hospital somewhere last month due to acute lower abdomen pain. Hubby rushed me to the clinic and the doctor did some test but was inclusive, and to us to go to the emergency room. So hubby then rushed me to Subang Jaya Medical Center (SJMC), just before reaching the emergency room I was puking and nearly fainted.

Then the nurse assisted me and made me lied down the bed, this is my first time so i was scared and getting chills all over. But the service was bad I had to was so long in pain before then conducted ultrasound and blood test. They had to put me on drips, I am like so afraid of needles and OMG it hurts. Soon after the test and all the doctor came and saw me, told me I need surgery and they were not sure whats wrong. So they were basically were going to perform exploration surgery and they were going to do it any time now. I was in shock everything was moving so fast, they admitted me and brought me up to the wad. Pitty hubby had to do all the documentation form for admitting, getting GL from the insurances company, calling my HR at work and so forth.

Once I was in the wad they got me changed in to the hospital gown and took me down to the operation room, I was wheeled her and there and my heart was pounding so fast. I was scared but seeing hubby beside me was a big comfort, once we reach the room in front of the operation room hubby was block from entering at his point I was all alone, cold, scared and in massive pain. Then anesthetic came and saw me, once this happened everything hit me OMG its happening.

After I was pumped with antibiotics drip, which made my veins cold and my body shivering I was wheeled into the operation teater. As soon I was wheeled in every thing happened so fast, they were moving me prepping me and covering me with layers of blanket to keep me warm. Then they put on the oxygen mask and told me to breath in as much as I can, suddenly he injected in to my drip line some medicines OMG HURTS LIKE MAD I was shouting and a few seconds later I was passed out.

When I woke up, I was being transferred to my bed in the ward. I cold hear voices of people around me talking but was so drowsy. Then i fell bad into my deep sleep and woke to see hubby, hubby's mum and dad came to visit me. Hubby sent them back and came to keep me company for the night, I woke up many times in pain paging the nurse. They gave me many many pain killers, I was high from all the medication and less in pain.

Thur out my period of admission at the hospital, every time they came to check on me the questions they will ask is as follows:-

a) Have you passed motion?

b) Have you peed?

c) Got fever?

d) Have you eaten?

 Sighss I guess it their job, but I was so sick and tired and yet I have to answer all this questions, finally i got discharge and got 2 weeks MC.

P/S: Hubby thanks for being there with me during the whole process and never leaving my sight, I love you so much <3 <3 <3 <3 <3.

Formula For A Happy Marriage

1. Hot meals every day will keep hunger away!

2.A foot massage each night will prevent a fight!

3. An sms to show u care will make arguments rare!

4. Seeking permission for everything will increase the understanding!

5. Admit when u r wrong and that will make you strong!

6. Hide each others sins even if it is the size of a pin!

7. Treat each others parents like your own and with any misunderstanding never moan!

8. Be ready to help others in difficulty and GOD will help you definitely!

9. Never reveal to others what happens at your new house or what occurs between you and your spouse!

10. Thank GOD everyday for His bounties and blessings and keep on striving in everyone’s happiness.

Ex-Factor

Ok ok so its been awhile since this blog has been updated. I know I am bad, well I been really busy with work, studies and stuff but I have an interesting story and question to share with you guys.

It was sometime last week when I ran into an really old "friend", we haven't seen each other like what 10 years plus. So she was like hey babe! Remember me .... We used to hang together and have sleep overs and all. I was like wait who are you again? Have we meet??

Hahah being that she dose not look like anyone I know, then it snap was she the one I had my little experiment with?? Then all of a sudden, my past starts flashing in front of me you know like in the movies and the things I have done. OMG OMG Its her Its really her and my heart was beating so fast like I am about to have a heart attack.

This was my 1st "...." relationship, and she is standing there smiling and grinning. I dint know how to respond to being seeing her after all this while. All this while I amused she was in Australia, I can't lie and say I wasn't slightly happy to see her. Then she introduce me to her partner and told me how they were married and had a kid. I just respond owh HI nice to meet you, I am happy for you .... Glad you got what you wanted in life to have a family and a great job.

How sweet is that, if only Malaysia would allow same sex marriage a lot of people out there would be as happy as they were. But NO you can't do that in Malaysia unless its unofficial and done secretly...

So now my interesting question here is what should we do when we run into an ex, someone who has been a part of your life before? hmm for me I have practice a non-ex factor life, and I like it no drama, no games, no pain.

Happy 3rd Anniversary

Happy 3^rd Anniversary hubby,

you make life so perfect and fulfilled by having you by my side.

I love you beyond word, nothing can replace you or make me feel so complete besides you.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

Happy 33 Months Anniversary

Hubby, time flies so fast and we reach the

Double 3 in our relationship.

Thanks for being so patient with putting up with all

my mood swings, gedikness, and the rest.

I am so glad that I have you and not anyone else.

I love you so much beeee…

xoxoxo

+Munchkin+

+ Happy Anniversary +

Happy Anniversary, I am so that we managed to go

Thur all the thick and thin together.

Thanks for bringing happiness and joy into my life.

Even The Best Relationship Need To Remember This...

If u can always find time to talk it out
If u can listen with your heart
If u can open up doors that sometimes
get closed off to your innermost feelings
If u can be gentle
If u can be strong
If u can walk the unknown journey
and always take one another along
If u can help each other over the rises
If u can understand any tears that fall
If u can build the bridges that will take
you over the highest walls
If u can go to the special places
where the most perfect truth exists
you will discover that love
will always be
the best thing that there is.....

Thanks for being my everything...
I love you HUBBY... now and for ever....

A new Chapter in life….

On the 19 of May 2008 at 4.00 p.m, marked a new chapter in our life and relationship. Why ?? As my previous post stated we have moved to KUALA LUMPUR, and have officially become KL-LITES ( as a friend of mine say it ), life here is much more different then Johor. The process of unpacking and settling in our new house, seriously it’s not an easy thing to do.

We moved in our new house on the 19 of May and hubby started work on the 20 of May 2008, but our furniture only arrived the same day hubby started work. oh wait guess what the lorry driver was such an asshole I tell you, they arrived at our premises and started to make so much of noise asking us to pay more, and if we don’t they are just going to leave it downstairs at the walk way. I got so pissed when they said that, what else I called up the boss and gave him a piece of my mind and what I got out of it I got free man power to carry all my things up to my apartment. Not forgetting J.R who came and help us, moved. Thanks a lot god forsaken brother.

Right now marks 2 months we been in KUALA LUMPUR, and we haven’t gotten the time to go out or do anything. We only got to use some of the facilities at our place after 1 month.
Alright that’s all for now, but before that here are some picture of what our Apartment surrounding looks like from our balcony.

+Just a random post+

HUbby and Me

Lives been great, lives been good
Nothing to complaint about, nothing to hate
Just love it, just like it
But………

On the other hand WORK!!!
Sucks, big time bummer
Actually at this point I am just looking forward to see how bad
It can get!! grhhh sucks .

Me seriously thinking about getting a pet
Since my two kitty are no longer.
What you guys think??
A cat or maybe a gold fish?? Anyone ideas?

Mum wants to go to KRABI,THAILAND so
Planning to got the tickets during the Air Asia big sales
Its really cheap but some how my financial status are a bit tight right now
Waiting for my pay day in 5day!!
Yea....hooray!!

That’s all for now!!
ooxxx

valentines day....

It'a all about LOVE...LOVE....LOVE...

I bet all you guys who have partners look forward to the evening plans that is installed. As for the singles you guys would have had a single day out or some sort I guess.

Anyway let me share to you guys what dose love mean to me.

Love is all about having that some one who is always there for you thru your up and downs, that some one who will hold you hand when you feel down, lonely, sad, happy or even at the worst moment of your life. Some one is always there when you need some one to talk to, share problem and even talk nonsense. Some one who gives you encouragement and support in all you do. Someone who manages to make you laugh, cry and makes you miss him/her within minutes apart for each other. Some one who accepts you just the way you are with no exception. Some one who make you feel love, comfort and peace by just being with him/her. Some one who takes care of you when you sick, I mean even when you’re at the dead bed him/her will be there till the very end. Some who is not selfish, cares to take the times to discuss thing so it become a win – win situation.

As for me I have managed to gain all that, but as people say not every human is perfect people do make mistakes at time and we learn how to forgive and forget. That is what really makes a relationship perfect. Nothing actually can describe the feeling of being in love and having that some one love back just as much its beyond words.

Hubby this post is for you, thank's for always being all that for me.

Happy valentines day hubby boobie ..

*EDITED VERSION*

I mean no one harm, and i am most grateful for my Hubby

and my friends who have stuck with me thru thick or thin.

I was pondering on my mind a few thing and my emotions just got mixed up.

Thanks hubby for always being there and help me thru my struggles.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

+ why do everyone mean so much too me, friends, family,etc

+And yet I fell like don't mean anything to anyone??

+Why do I get this feeling sometime? Is it just me or am I right??

Hmm still pondering on it....

have u felt this way??

Have you been in a situation where you cant tell that someone everything or that someone is hiding something from you, felt you had to bee so content with everything.??? Lately I been feeling that way and it just got me thinking so hard, because as far as I know I have never kept anything from Boobie King. Then I came realize that it was just me being so paranoid, so I tried to solve it within myself and yea now all my dilemma is gone.

Its a terrible feeling to have keeping a secret from someone you love, I am glad Boobie and me have the no secret policy. That why I can be so open and so comfortable around Boobie so dose Boobie. I guess the best thing to do it don't let feeling get in the way of relationship, because from what I know this is what that causes fights and divorce. Which is really a bad thing you got to go thru, when all that things can be avoided from the start .

So yea I just wanted to share this experiences with you guys.

+ Love +

I know you don't want to hurt me
I know you don't want to make me cry
I know you don't mean those things you say
sometimes that's hurts me deeply, sometimes it don't.

I know its me who makes you do all this things, its me not you.

I need you by my side, my shoulder to cry on.
I need you to be my safest place to go to.
Most of all I need you to be my shining amour.
I just need you to hold me,
tell me that you need me,
tell me that you love me and
treasure me.
Sometimes I get it from you sometimes I don't.


I know we are in a process of learning about each other, I know its a never ending process and I will be by your side till thee very end.I am sorry for hurting you as well in the process, I know you have expectations from me as well. But one thing I am very sure of is that you never fail to give me the best of everything. You know my every need even without me having to tell you.That's why I am so lucky to have you in my life, Hubby I love you.


Someone very wise once told me, don't ever stop trying just because you think everything is going smoothly. Instead keep on trying harder to make it beyond description.

Who said ??

Who said that life is tough??
Who said that I won’t succeed in life??
Who said that my mum won’t come around??
Who said that everything I do is not right??
Who said that I won’t find true love??
Who said that I am no good for nothing??
Who said that I have no true friends??

Ever since I was young I was feed with negative taught and was blame for everything that went wrong. Maybe it was because I am an adopted child so it did not matter to them how I felt or maybe of due to their personal reasons. But now I am telling all of you that I am very much successful on my own with my boo.

So today I am annoucing to everyone dont let people judge you or put you down, stand up for your self and you will be just fine.


Now I am saying life is not so tough as it seems.
Now I am saying I did succeed and still seceding in life.
Now I am saying my mum has come around for good.
Now I am saying what i do is right.
Now I am saying I have found TRUE LOVE.
Now I am saying I am good in doing things.
Now I am saying I have true friends.

I do agree there is pro and cons in everything but if we take one step at a time we can conquer anything or go thru any obstacle in front of us.Trust me I have been thru alot and I still survive, thank god and boo for allways being at myside.

Love yea Hubby!!

I am so in love for once in my life.
In my dreams, I've known you many times before.
And I so want you to be mine forever,
As only you can satisfy me forever more,
And only you can love me more.

I'm lovin' you lovin' me lovin' you.
It's all the same; when loving,
two together makes one.
It's all the same, and we are one.

I will give you a world of your dreams if you want them.
I can feel the power when you're standing there.
Someone sent me you; oh lord, I will thank him,
And all the rest, it just don't matter,
And all the rest and all the rest.

Loving you.
You know I love you.
More then anything in this world.